February 2012
1 post
January 2012
1 post
Lament of the Delicious Librarian
I worked at a small Mac software company from 2008-2010 called Delicious Monster, founded by Wil Shipley and Mike Matas. Most people know the company for its hit software Delicious Library, but most people know me from the infamous booth at the 2009 Macworld Expo.
My boss Wil didn’t even want to have a booth. Those things cost a fortune and require tons of time to plan and operate. But I...
November 2011
1 post
Look Ma, I'm a Tech Blog
1 paragraph commentary on something to do with an earnings report
Long article quote with single comment at end
Short article quote with no comment at end
Picture of something shiny
Siri reference
Glowing review of my friend’s app
Criticism of something I don’t understand
Essay on why iPad 3 will obviously have a retina display
Review of another review
Screenshot with...
October 2011
1 post
“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to...”
– Steve Jobs, 1955-2011
July 2011
4 posts
How To Scroll In Lion
Step 1: Pretend it’s an iPad.
Google Plus, translated
Circle = List
Share = Post
Share = Repost
Reshare = Repost
Sharing = Following
Plus One = Appreciate
Plus One’s = Things you have appreciated
Friends = Acquaintances
Acquaintances = People you met once and don’t remember who you are
Privacy = How public your posts are
Sparks = Sponsored links
Field Trial = Public beta
Hangouts = Video conference
May 2011
1 post
April 2011
2 posts
Here's how it's done.
There’s been much debate around the floppy disc save icon lately, causing people to question whether we even need to save documents anymore. It’s 2011! Even our field notes autosave! Apps! Magnetic covers! Making fun of Color! While 2011 is the year of many things, it is certainly not the year of something so passe as saving documents.
But patience, frustrated design nerds, for all...
Why Is There A Pile Of Sand On The Muni? A Poehm...
Why is there a pile of sand on the muni?
Could it have been
a wave?
A gust of wind, or
a beach party?
I sit here confused
a man stands in front of me
standing in the sand
a seagull in jeans.
He does not wonder
as I
Oh shit that was my stop
March 2011
1 post
Notes.app
This is what happens when you don’t ever delete notes on your iPhone. And when you take notes without context.
600 days ago
1 outdoor LED
5 outdoor LEDs
Chicken
Pickles
595 days ago
The wal
My shrink said I could think about whoever I want
It’s not incest if you’re cousins
No one likes being around happy people
Everyone else was laughing
594 days ago
Build a...
February 2011
1 post
I miss the you I fell in love with.
When nobody liked you, I thought you were perfect. You may have had flaws and quirks, but it was okay. I loved you. I devoted my life to you.
Now you are popular. Everyone talks about you. Things are different. You’ve changed. I still love you, but I cant help but wish things would go back to the way they were. We may have been poor and we may have had rough times, but we were so happy...
January 2011
1 post
What Your 16-Hour Workday Says About You!
You’re a really hard worker
Your time is poorly managed
You don’t know what to do with your life
Your boss knows you’re gullible
At least 40% of your diet consists of pre-packaged food
You send out work emails at inappropriate hours
You have no perspective on life
You don’t sleep enough for proper brain function
You have very little self-respect
Your salary should...
November 2010
2 posts
That, you'll never forget.
Things I want iTunes to announce tomorrow
Better organization for classical music
White Verizon iPhone
Removal of TSA full body scanners
Free music
Free tacos
3-day weekend
No more ping
Things iTunes will probably announce tomorrow
Cloud
Social
Rent
Media
Subscribe
Integration
Lower-case i
STOP
Stop. Hammertime.
Stop, hammertime.
Stop! Hammertime.
Stop: hammertime.
Stop; hammertime.
Stop… hammertime.
Stop—hammertime.
October 2010
1 post
September 2010
3 posts
Monday Morning
I walked down Market to the nearest muni station, with cake in one hand and a pink cigarette in the other.
I felt pretty crazy until I passed by a man wearing a bear suit and purple shoes.
I looked at him. He looked at me. We smiled. We were wearing the same sunglasses.
Things Club Soda Cannot Remove
- An annoying song stuck in your head
- A mean roommate
- Commercials on Hulu
- Unwanted body hair
- Sadness
- The common cold
- Human blood
- Nail polish
- Ladies’ pants
- Your old mattress
- Hobos
- Sin
- Inner thigh fat
- Cat hair
- Lower back pain
- File corruption
- Small children on airplanes
July 2010
3 posts
Phonetic alphabet makes me nervous.
A as in aesthetic
B as in the insect
C as in cerulean
D as in django
E as in “eh?”
F as in phone. No, I mean, F as in, fu… fist.
G as in gnome
H as in heir
I as in in
J as in jalapeno
K as in knead
L as in lead
M as in mead
N as in need
O as in onomatopoeia
P as in pneumonic
Q as in queue
R as in rasin
S as in sssssssssssss
T as in tsunami
U as in...
June 2010
1 post
May 2010
2 posts
soulmate.
It’s the distant future.
I’m at the grocery store, perusing the maraschino cherry aisle. In my cart is a bottle of bourbon and a small box of cocktail swords.
I reach for the last bottle of maraschino cherries. Someone beats me to it. Our hands touch. He looks at me. I look at him. We both smile. And in his cart: ginger ale and chicken wings.
fin.
March 2010
4 posts
SXSF LINEUP ANNOUNCED
Sad by San Francisco • IntraActive • March 12-16
Sext, Drugs, and Rock’n’Roll: A breakdown of SXSF
We’re Not Marketers (We’re just promoting product awareness platform integration)
My Jeans Cost More than Your Netbook
Shoot for the Stars: A circle jerk of self-validation on Twitter
I’m A Vlogger Look At Me
Why Mac Users are More Likely to get Laid
A...
Places You Might Not Want to be Mayor of on...
• Planned Parenthood
• Macworld
• Lo-cost Meat and Fish
• Liquor store
• Local elementary school
• Motel 6
• Oriental massage parlor
• Bailey’s mom’s house
February 2010
12 posts
Watchmerlin:
Macworld 2010: A Chat with Merlin
Merlin Mann gets a feel for the vibe on the show floor.
Hanging at Macworld (no intercaps, please) with JasPer and JessChar.
Weird how they’re the ones with the coffee, amirite?
Yes: Iamrite.
I dig this truncated name. You can all call me JessChar from now on.
1 tag
WatchHappy Valentine’s Day To You
January 2010
5 posts
WatchWho is the champion of spoon nose? Jessie is the champion of spoon nose.
WatchSome kind of a duet by Scott and Adam. In my living room.
December 2009
1 post
November 2009
1 post
WatchThe only thing sexy about these Halloween costumes is the way we groove.
October 2009
3 posts
